Wisdom + Wellbeing - Christmas with Confidence

So Christmas can be a wonderful time of year for many and you may be all merry and bright counting down the days, but I know a lot of you may be feeling dread, overwhelm and anxiety, for a variety of reasons too.

A few years ago the charity Mind carried out a survey and the results were clear that Christmas can be a difficult time and cause people who already struggle with their mental health and wellbeing to react negatively.

- Three quarters of the people who answered had trouble sleeping

- 60% of people who answered experience panic attacks

I'm guessing that those number may have even risen by now too. 

There's so much pressure for everyone around money and gift giving, spending time with family and/or friends that they don't feel comfortable around, work commitments and their own expectations for it all to be perfect.

Plus there is also people who are facing crisis around relationships, employment, housing and health. Not to mention all the people who will be dealing with heartache or grieving the loss of a loved one.

The adverts on TV make Christmas look so vibrant, a great time to enjoy the finer things in life with lots of treats, excitement and smiling faces but what if that isn't your reality?

Having some time to step back and think about what you really need and want right now, and how you can take some control of how the next few weeks unfold will make a difference, leaving you feeling more empowered and less stressed.

Here's how you can embrace Christmas with more Confidence this year:

• Start with where you are right now, observe what's going on in your life, what's stressing you or making you feel anxious? Deliberately make some time to acknowledge it but also brainstorm some solutions, there may be some aspects that you have no control over but there will be some that you do. Where can you lighten the load? What can you tweak to feel more at ease? Are there areas that you need help with? Then reach out for help, support and advice. There are no extra points in this life in struggling through on your own. Also, be sure to note the things that feel good and bring you joy, pin those up somewhere where you read them every day and be reminded to feel the gratitude, no matter how small.

• If there are any areas that are really threatening your health or wellbeing prioritise them, this could be financial issues, relationship problems or health worries. It's important that you feel safe and well over these next few weeks and Christmas has a good way of unraveling the tough stuff in your life. Prioritise these, you will thank yourself for doing it. Again talk to people who will help or understand, wether that's your family/friends, a doctor or another professional who can support you to make some positive changes. Then make a plan that will bring about the changes you need to see to feel better and ask people to support you to carry it out.

• Hopefully by now you've dealt with any of the really difficult stuff that's bring you down or holding you back. So now it's time to think about the things you really want from the next few weeks and nothing is too small or too silly here. Maybe it's to be able to do something special with someone, maybe it's to have some time doing nothing but watching Christmas movies, maybe it's saying no to the pressure of going here, buying that or seeing them. Maybe it's just simply having a quiet Christmas and giving yourself permission to do so. Make a list, check it twice (see what I did there?!) and stick to it. Jemma from Celery and Cupcakes talks about her Christmas Bucket List in this post and it may help you to craft something similar for yourself.

• If there is one thing and one thing only that I would highly recommend you do that would be to take regular scheduled breaks from the chaos of it all and shut yourself away for some well deserved down time and some space to recalibrate and reflect. This will help so much especially if you find yourself having to deal awkward, tension filled situations!

Here I've put together some resources that might help you to solve some of the dilemmas or tricky situation you may face in the next two week:

- The Clementine App for building confidence, setting positive mantras and getting some sleep.

- The Calmer You podcast for fighting anxiety and panic attacks.

- The Money Advice Service for any financial worries or stresses.

- Relate for tricky relationships and Women's Aid for more serious domestic abuse.

- NHS Choices for winter health hiccups and Christmas opening times for local service.

- Mind for all your and your loved ones mental health dilemmas.

- My Winter Wellbeing Workbook for creating and prioritising your needs and self care.

Remember that you could still do things like online shopping and food delivery at this point, or many stores do click and collect too. You can also do things like make cards, gifts and decorations if buying is too expensive or flip that round and buy if making bespoke, hand made items is too stressful and time consuming.

Staying away from perfectionism and reframing your expectations will give you a whole new perspective, plus STAY OFF SOCIAL MEDIA if it all gets too much, you don't need to compare yourself and your situation to people who are showing their best bits online and most likely are going through some crap as much as you are but are pretending that everything is just perfect!

I always want to know how you are getting on so do share below - do you have any advice you can add? Or maybe you tried something here and it's really helped!

You can reach out and say hi to me on Instagram and Facebook too!