Every one of us, no matter how perfect our social media feed is curated to showcase an amazing life to outside world, has deal with some tough times at least once in our life.
No one has an easy ride, ever.
But dealing with the hard stuff can be easier or more manageable for some than it is for others. I get it too, when life gives you lemons that sourness can quickly take over but just knowing how to make even a tiny drop of lemonade can give you the energy and resolve to not only keep going but get stronger and more resilient with each new adversity you face down the road.
I’ve face my fair share crap - abusive relationships and painful break ups, infertility and baby loss, ending friendships and loosing people I care about, struggling at work and making endless uncomfortable and cringe worthy mistakes - I have f**ked up countless times, and it’s felt raw and heavy.
My default setting has been to wallow which was quickly followed by being all consumed and unable to move forward, I was fatalistic and not able to let any light in, and that my friend would continuously hinder my ability to bounce back when life felt too hard.
This way of living was truly exhausting, I was miserable and missing out. Plus all my conversations hinged on negativity but really I was craving light and a reason to smile.
It was simple really, I just needed to give myself permission to find the joy instead being defined by the hard stuff. You can do it too and its probably easier than you think.
I know I’m lucky to be a mum and have my kids around me because for me they are a constant source of joy and even on the days when motherhood feels hard they are always doing little things to make smile, it’s choosing to focus on them instead of the tough bits that brings the joy.
I’ve learnt to find joy in me too, in my passions and interests, in the person I’m becoming and more recently in my own company. When I was younger I always placed joy and happiness into the hands others which is a dangerous game to play, then I turned 30 and learnt to fall in love with the person I was and wanted to become. I actively invested in the relationship I had with myself by working on the bits in my past that felt uncomfortable and I even found joy in the mistakes I made, acknowledging how far I have come since then.
Accepting that life is full of hard stuff sometimes, especially when things have gone wrong in the past, has been my biggest gateway to allowing myself to find joy when life gets tough now. Thats why I created my Little Love Letters Workbook so you can have a way to reconnect back to who you are too. By working through the uncomfortable bits and creating more love in the relationship you have with yourself you can learn to find joy when your life feels hard. I know myself what I difference this makes to life and what you can get out of it - imagine making peace with your past, understand your present and embracing your future, imagine feeling brave, confident and joyful still when life gets bumpy?
Last of all I keep it simple, I look for joy in the small moments in life. When something feels big and scary I seek out joy in cooking good food, a funny film or sharing a moment with someone I love - like dancing around the kitchen or jumping own the bed!
I also look for joy in the successes of others too, knowing that when something good is happening to someone else, they are being looked after and their good fortune has a ripple effort, plus it reminds us that nothing truly stays hard, things ebb and flow for everyone.
As we get older it seems that our lives and the world we live is much harder, there are so many things to worry about, more and more difficult situations come our way. Finding joy will protect you against the weight of it all, go out and seek it or create it for yourself, your emotional and mental wellbeing will thank you for it, and adversity will become that little bit easier to sail through.
Go sip some lemonade, enjoy it, even if you’re living with a bowl full of lemons.
Share your moments of joy in hard times with me below or come find me on Instagram.
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