Remember the last time you failed at something?
How did it make you feel?
I’m pretty sure your answer is something between a bit rubbish to absolutely devastating! It can be crushing right? I know that feeling well because I’ve failed a fair few times myself, in fact a recently I paid A LOT of money for a course that I only completed one unit of and gave up on, so I failed the course and I failed my bank account, it was a costly failure BUT it actually worked in my favour too.
So failure then - can it be a good thing?
Well, I'm here to tell you that actually, not only is it good for you, but there is so much incredibly useful information in your failure that will lead you on to bigger and better things if you’re willing to look a little more closely at what happened. Because by changing your perspective you can learn from it.
You see failures are like little pots of gold, they bring new insight into how you can live your life, bringing you closer to being successful in whatever it is you want to achieve. Every failure you encounter can be one step towards being more wiser, focused and clear about what you want, who you are and what you life is all about.
So, are you ready to embrace failure?
Yes, I know it's not easy, but the good stuff in life never is! When we get things wrong or make a mistake we are often left feeling that we aren't good enough or that we are flawed and incapable of succeeding. We reinforce this thinking by playing out negative stories in our head, we run a dialogue of self doubt and unworthiness that leaves us feeling weak, often too scared to try again, or try something different.
We tend to put our mistakes and short comings down to our lack of ability and believe that we don't deserve any better, that the failure we have experience is the end of the story, that its final, a done deal. Then we are left feeling scared and vulnerable so we decide to bury the experience and pretend it never happen, or often as I see many people do, wallow in the sadness and misery of it all instead.
But I have great big juicy BUT to throw in here now!
You can change this all, right here, right now - let me talk you through it...
Think of something recently that you feel you failed at or was a huge mistake on your part.
Write down all the negative feelings and thoughts you have about this situation and that apply to how you feel about yourself.
Now tear that up and toss it out, light a match to it, use it for cat litter even!
Now I want you to sit down, take some deep breaths, if it helps put on some calming music, light a candle, snuggle in with a bowl of your favourite ice-cream — anything that relaxes you and makes you feel good.
Pen in hand I want you to think about and write down why you think things unfolded the way they did...
What were the factors out of your control and how can you let them go?
What can you take responsibility for?
What would you differently next time and why?
What has this situation made you realise you want to feel more of?
What has this situation made you realise you want to feel less of?
And this may feel a bit of a challenge but there is one if you look hard enough — what's the silver lining in all of this?
Now take all this information about yourself that you've just poured out of your brain and use it positively, either to move on peacefully to a better place or to try again.
Last of all, to really, really let this moment of failure become a good thing for you - I want you to let it go!
I want you to be kind and compassionate to yourself, I want you to forgive yourself, I want you to acknowledge and maybe even accept that we all make mistakes, we are all human after all which means none of us are perfect and that mistakes and failure are inevitable and a part of life.
You have the power though to flip them on their head and make them so valuable by letting yourself learn from them, pick yourself up and come back fighting!
I have truly learnt to embrace my mistakes, in fact I cherish them because what I get out of them is so powerful and instrumental to my success and my journey forward. I almost look forward to them, which I know sounds crazy, because I know the lessons I learn can totally empower me to be the best version of myself and shape me into the person I really want to be and I'm hoping that you can get to a place where you can feel the same!
Remember that any change in habit or self care/help mindset doesn't always come easy, when we are trying to create change in ourselves and our life it can take some practice so if this doesn't feel natural or achievable at first don't give up, keep trying to look at your failures as a positive, empowering guide to how you want things to be different next time — yes?! Good!
Now it's your turn to tell me something — did you try this out? If so let me know, you can leave a comment here or share on your social media channels — don't forget to tag me in!
I love emails too and you can reach me at herwisdom@gmail.com
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