You can decide to do something new or different at any time, any place, any where. For instance you don’t have to wait to the 1st of January to start a new habit and you don’t have to get a university degree when you’re young, you can choose to do anything when you feel ready BUT, it’s not the decision to do something that’s actually the hardest part, more often it’s the doing, the action, because that requires most people to step away from what feels familiar and make a change and that can be scary.
Our comfort zone keeps us safe, often it helps us to be organised, stay in a routine and helps us to predict what will happen in most situations. It’s cosy, we know who we are, and we can be that person, feel good about ourselves and expect others to see us in a positive light too. That comfort zone represents what feels achievable, protecting us from mistakes or being wrong, it even keeps us from danger, helping us to weigh up risks and take the road more travelled, because it’s easy there isn’t it?
However, what if you decide you want something different, to be someone different or do something different? You have to step away from what you know, that familiar feeling that makes what you do and how you show up so easy and comfortable, you have to let that go and start to trust that what you do instead will turn out ok AND even harder, you have to prepare yourself in case it doesn’t...
That feels hard, right? That feels overwhelming...
I’ve found that getting out of your comfort zone is mostly about getting out of your own way but in a world where we are constantly on show it’s hard to not catastrophise before you even take the first step. The funny thing though about comfort zones is once you are out of them it’s often ok, in fact a lot of the time your life becomes even better.
So how exactly can we make that first step, and let’s be honest the hardest one, easier to take?
Well, here are 3 simple, effortless ways to try...
Ok, I’m going with the easiest one first, start small by making little changes to your day. Eat something different for breakfast, go to work a different way, try a new lipstick or hairstyle. Read a book instead watching tv, take a bath instead of a show, try a different brand of toothpaste, shop at a different supermarket or learn something about a new to you subject. If even any of this feels hard then just write a list of all the small changes you could make in your day and start with just one simple difference. Tell yourself you only have to try it once or for a few seconds, you can always revert back if you want.
Once you start challenging yourself to make little adjustments in your day, it will become familiar, your trust muscle will build and so will your confidence to handle change and try something much bigger.
Another simple way to support yourself to step out of your comfort zone is through self efficacy. This means to believe in your ability to do the things you want to do, to succeed in a task or action. The best way to build self efficacy is to remember or write down, as this helps even more, a memory of when you did something that felt hard or new as a reminder of what you are capable of.
Here’s an example, when our eldest daughter was 3 we visited Muskoka for a few days with our friends while on a visit to Canada. The weather was ok, not too chilly but not baking hot either but my friend and some of her cousins decided to jump in the lake. After watching all the adults do it our 3yo decided it looked like fun and wanted to do it too. I wasn’t sure, we told her the water would be cold but she was determined. My friend jumped in first so she could catch her as our daughter couldn’t yet swim. Then our daughter, in her pink and orange frilly swim suit, took a few steps back to the end of the wooden jetty, she was nervous but excited as we counted down but she ran with all her might and jumped as high as her little body could take her, splashing down into the lake where my friend scooped her up and everyone gave her a victory cheer! She was so flipping proud of herself and instantly wanted to do it again! It was an incredible moment when all the adults were in awe of this small girl doing something so brave - I know I could never do it!
There is a point to me telling you this story though, this moment in her life became a bench mark for self efficacy, as she got older and faced hard or nerve wracking situations through school, hobbies and life situations I would remind her of the time she jumped in the lake when we visited Canada and reaffirm to her that she could do hard things, she could attempt and master new skills and navigate and even enjoy new experiences. Having a story that reminds you of when you stepped out your comfort zone in the past is so powerful in helping you to do it again. And if you don’t have one or can’t think of anything go small again, write down or make a list of micro moments in your day of when you attempt something new or different, go back to the suggestion above, try a new brand of cereal and then keep track of all times it felt ok or turned out fine in the end.
Finally remind yourself of your why (you can make a note of this too!), everyday think about what is compelling you to do or try something new or different. Allow this to be the focus, because it’s easy to get caught up in the nitty gritty of change, the what ifs or maybes, but if you have a clear solid why to come back to it grounds you in your purpose and propels you forward out of that comfort zone.
Here are few quick and fun ways to remember your why:
- Vision board it
- Journal about it
- Share it with a friend
No comments
Post a Comment